My wife decided to have a yard sale. They used to be called garage sales. We would move all the junk to the garage. Now we move it from the garage to the driveway and call it a yard sale. Eventually we just move it to the curb and call it what it really is. Garbage (rhyme it with garage and its's funnier...see?).
We slapped a cardboard sign on a telephone pole at the end of the block and we expected people to flock to us. That was the extent of our marketing campaign. I started setting up at 7am in the morning. At 7:01am the nuts were pulling up. “Got any tools, fishing rods, guns?” And those were the women.
I stole a few boxes of my most precious items, that my wife labeled junk. I brought them to my room, or mancave. It's sad that mankind has gone from caveman to mancave.
Find out what's happening in Sachemwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Going through that box, it occurred to me that men have lost something. Our machismo, for lack of a better term.
I hate how men are portrayed in the media. We are either stupid, useless, lazy or lying to our wives about something. We are always in trouble for something and crawling back with our dignity left at the doorstep.
Find out what's happening in Sachemwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Who is responsible for this? You know who I think it is ? Phil Donahue. He did this to us. He was the beginning of that whole talk about what is wrong with your husband format. He is the father of turning men into mothers.
Oprah took it from there. I remember coming home to my wife saying “Oh I watched Oprah today and I figured out what your problem is. I taped it”
We have a complete video library now. The complete Steve the idiot husband series. 100 VHS tapes. She is selling them in the yard sale.
You know what? It’s time for us to take it back. Take back our Manliness.
WHO’s WITH ME!!!
I gotta go. My wife is calling. I think I’m in trouble.
More on the author at www.steviegb.breezi.com
