Letter to the Editor: The Pillow Fight Heard Around the World

A woman who attended the Krazy Kidz pajama party addresses the controversy.

Editor's note: The following letter to the editor was submitted by a woman who attended the controversial pajama party at Medford's Krazy Kidz last Saturday night. Patch has verified that she attended the party, but she asked that her name not be used "due to the fact that death threats have been issued to someone involved in with party already, for the safety and privacy of myself and my family I do not feel safe using my real name in relation to this issue."

This past Saturday night, I attended Krazy Kidz in Medford where they held a, now notorious, private party.  The Flyer read:  "Jungle Gym & Pajama Party All-Night Dance Party: For Grownups Who Won't GrowUp."

It was posted on Meetup.com and said to include pillow fights, crazy maze races, a Twister contest, body painters and performers as well as "warm-jello wrestling" and "things I probably shouldn't be putting in writing." It stated:

 "The purpose of the party is to play like a kid! ...to be happy and carefree. This is just good clean wholesome fun ... There will be no orgy, smut, strippers, or lewd content ... however ... there will be tasteful nudity."

Immediately, controversial candid shots posted to a social media site, along with the above-mentioned flyer culminated in a perfect storm that went viral. This is as much about the power of social media sites such as Facebook, to share messages, inform, and unite people around a cause — as well as the danger of making assumptions without having all the facts — as it is about public nudity, child-safety concerns or anything else. 

Unfortunately, the outrage of many who saw these images could have been harnessed to address the real problems our nation faces today — such as mass shootings, violent foreign policy and an abysmal economy where the middle-class finds it increasingly hard to make ends meet. Difficult financial times were in fact the reason behind Krazy Kidz seeking alternate revenue streams via private parties.

The party photos which reached the evening news on major network TV, featured women in shorts, pajamas, and pretty lingerie-inspired attire (and who were more covered-up than one would be at the beach) frolicking innocently on the jungle gym and on the dance floor.

For those who speculated on what kind of  "performances" there were, the performers were fully clothed hoola-hoopers, and aerial artists who gracefully soared through the air.

Since news of the pajama party got out, their Facebook page has been barraged with negative comments from irate parents who now fear that children who play in Krazy Kidz may come into contact with certain unsavory bodily fluids or be stuck with a syringe. 

Apparently the average suburban soccer mom (or little league dad) cannot comprehend the notion of non-sexualized nudity, or believe the fact that not everyone has the hang-ups they do about the human body in its natural state, and thus do not require drugs or heavy drinking in order to be nude or sporting "revealing" attire around a group of people. There was absolutely no drug use or smoking inside the venue during this night despite rumors to the contrary.

There were a few nudists who were hired as a "flash mob" for an artful impact, they stayed on the dance floor, did not use any of the equipment, and I did not even see any of them sitting down. 

Perhaps, this performance art piece was still in questionable taste featured in an establishment that caters to children during the day, but it certainly wasn't part of any sex act, or meant for the purposes of titillation.

I would like to address another statement on the flyer, which may lead people to assume that there was hard partying going on at the event. The flyer stated that the party ends at 3 a.m. and that people were welcome to stay until 5 a.m. to rest up before driving. 

The truth is that everyone left by 3 a.m. and therefore the staff had ample time to cleanup before they opened the next day at 11 a.m. The reason the flyer stated that people would not be asked to leave immediately was because it was a 21-and-over private party that was BYOB (bring your own beer), and there was some moderate drinking, by some, of beer, wine, or cocktails. 

I did not see anyone that looked to be at all intoxicated, but just to be on the safe side, it was a good idea to give people a little extra time to make sure they were ok to drive, should they need it, none of which was necessary.

Would it really matter if the woman seen in the shot was truly naked or just wearing an "Eve costume?" I assure you that there was no one on any of the equipment that wasn't fully dressed. 

This was not a sex party, a swingers party, a drug-fueled orgy, a bunch of pedophiles getting off on humping the bouncy house, or a Satanic Black Mass, or any of the other outlandish insinuations made by people with vivid, fevered imaginations. And to the dismay of some of the attendees, neither the Twister game or the hilariously evocative "warm-jello wrestling," mentioned on the overhyped flyer, ever took place.

The premise behind this innovative party was to facilitate a space for guests to be able to return to a place of innocence — but evidently there was no going back to the simplicity of childhood. The Garden of Eden has been destroyed. 

Nudity is now perceived as the opposite of innocence, and public nakedness threatens to subvert the social order. This scares people. Obviously, this struck a deep chord with Middle America's puritanical roots, and beliefs about the inherent sinfulness of the body.  

I went to this party to enjoy a carefree Saturday night in the company of a group of free-spirits, artists, and creative-types who wanted to find a safe haven, in which to convene, away from society's rigid boxes and judgmental gaze. Sadly, the exact opposite happened. 

Now, a hard-working, tax-paying citizen may lose his business due to misguided hysteria, not to mention the public shaming of all the attendees. Some even received death threats from a lynch mob who just want "...their kids to be safe." This was a night of pizza, pillow fights, facepainting, dancing, and hoola-hooping. You tell me who the dangerous ones are; maybe the most dangerous elements of our society are driving children around in minivans.

We live in a pornified society, in which people can't imagine someone paying $40 to go to a place like this without the promise of a night of debauchery to rival that of ancient Rome. The truth is seldom as juicy as the fantasy. 

I guess most people will never understand us, but I think this incident brought up a lot of interesting questions about what it means to be an adult, or a child, to be clean, or dirty, innocent, or abhorrent. Apparently one man's good, clean fun is another man's Sodom and Gomorrah.

I know you will choose to believe what you want, and I don't have false expectations of reaching any of you with my voice. History is full of the fury of the intolerant mob. But please remember that there are much more important things to rally against in this world besides pillow fights, and adults trying to have a bit of fun, while fostering a sense of community, in a world that can often be cold, cruel, hard, lonely and unforgiving, and in a life so bittersweet and fleeting.  

If this is the worst thing that you have to worry about — consider yourself blessed.

Jannpls February 08, 2014 at 09:49 AM
The last line in the letter, said it best. "If this is the worst thing that you have to worry about — consider yourself blessed."
Damian Lamas February 08, 2014 at 11:49 AM
How do u get invited?
Shripathi Kamath February 08, 2014 at 11:58 AM
Was David Vitter in his diapers?
Anthony Romeo Jr. February 08, 2014 at 12:29 PM
There's no comment to leave.. it speaks for itsself.
Lory February 08, 2014 at 07:20 PM
You make many good points and clarified a lot of issues; but if it is the parents of the kids who use this facility and are bothered by such usage--then the owner will have to respect their wishes. Or--end result, no business.
the baby February 08, 2014 at 07:29 PM
Finally, an educated, eloquent comment from the woman who attended the event. I had lost all hope about the existence of such a rare breed amongst all of the gibberish that comes out online in forums such as these. Frankly, I would be more concerned about the children being raised by adults who can't even spell correctly or use proper grammar and punctuation, than I would about residual germs and phantom body fluids.
Bob February 09, 2014 at 01:24 AM
Don't you just love it when prejudice rears it's ugly head? Next time these critics sleep in a motel/hotel they will be sleeping in all sorts of bodily fluids. Take a black light with you and you probably won't find a "safe" place to sleep in the room. Were the kids at risk? I doubt it simply because the owner of the business is not going to open himself up for a lawsuit. I am sure he has plenty of records proving his place was probably cleaner than before the party started. If parents can't handle it then they need to remove their kids and others will replace them. This owner does not have to recieve parental permission to use his business for other events as long as he obeys the laws. Get a life folks.
Shripathi Kamath February 09, 2014 at 01:32 AM
Bob February 09, 2014 at 01:24 AM Don't you just love it when prejudice rears it's ugly head? ___________________________________________________ Like the bubonic plague!
brookhavenconfucius February 09, 2014 at 06:17 AM
IF ANYTHING resulted, in this issue, is, there exists a profound lack of, what is called "Moral Center" in alleged 'people', these days.
brookhavenconfucius February 09, 2014 at 06:25 AM
I guess PATCH IS NOW TURNED OVER TO THE CRAIGLIST CROWD ! Nudist Dating -- Get The Most Out Of Nudist Dating By means of Some of these Guidelines Posted by Mindy Songfer , February 07, 2014 at 09:25 PM http://portjefferson.patch.com/groups/nudist-dating/p/nudist-dating--get-the-most-out-of-nudist-dating-by-means-of-some-of-these-guidelines
andrea abdulla February 09, 2014 at 08:06 AM
Yes, a nude performance artist. But it was all in innocent fun. Yeah...right.
Fred Hughes February 09, 2014 at 09:41 AM
I'm sure there some real raving beauties. Once again a bunch of drunks coming up with something stupid to spend away a winter which is only beginning. Silly people. Find a new hobby.
David Marc Bregman February 09, 2014 at 02:46 PM
I just heard about this story and then read the comments. If you were not there how can you comment as to what went on. There are far too many assumptions here. And this made the news? It's such a non story, except of course all of the hypocrites posting. It shows you were our attitudes lie here in America. Putin is looking for citizens with these attitudes. You can join Snowden over there with very little effort if you'd like. I am sure the raving beauties are not throwing these morally harmful parties iver there. I hope the owner of this business can turn this firestorm around and use it to his benefit.
Victoria Kaplan February 09, 2014 at 05:10 PM
This was perfectly written, and if this was the kind of person at the event...does that not say something itself? A well articulated party attendant is clearing things up for us, that this was an adult party...in the sense of it was ADULTS only...not an orgy. Somehow, we as a society are totally okay with tiny bikinis on a beach, but nudity of any kind automatically means rampant stds attacking our children? My friend went to this party, and she had a blast. I hope Krazy Kids can recover <3
Poot February 10, 2014 at 08:57 AM
@Andrea Abdullah -- my guess is you don't get out much, and your idea of "high culture" would be Dunkin' Donuts.
Mike Lazar February 10, 2014 at 09:06 AM
There is something fishy about the whole thing. "No camera allowed?" This woman needs to grow up. Any kid over 10 knows that this is not possible. And why no camera allowed in a very public event? "No drugs were used". In a gathering of 300? How can anybody be sure? This is a small town. The "body painting" becomes "face painting" later. The most important thing: In a cleaning of a few hours there is no guarantee that some things will not be missed and found later by kids. It is a big place. Bottom line: Adult and kid entertainment do not mix in any circumstance.
Mac February 10, 2014 at 10:14 AM
WTG Krazy Kidz - you have popped the protective bubble surrounding Sachem and as a result many of its citizens rather small, shallow, and very closed minds are now again in a frantic search for a new fountain of Trojan protection – one cannot make this stuff up on their own – from here on out, anyone attempting to enter Sachem will be subjected to a full body search to protect Krazy Kidz from having the town’s uptight parents worry about hidden germs on their children’s playtime kiddy balls
Judith February 10, 2014 at 09:41 PM
Even if it was an orgy or whatever, it's nobody's business but the attendees'. Equipment was cleaned thoroughly and no matter what went on there is no way it could have caused "contamination" any more than kids' boogers, spit, vomit, uncovered sneezes, sticky hands, pee and poop that leak out of diapers and training pants - etc. I would just hope that the facility is cleaned as well every night for the next batch of kids the next day. And, in keeping with this story, I hope it was cleaned thorougly so that the adults at the adults-only didn't have have to worry about what they might have been sitting on/in, touching - etc.
Stevo February 11, 2014 at 08:39 AM
Something tells me a bunch of you haven't gotten any in a while!
Johnny February 11, 2014 at 10:40 AM
Only the fat and boring women have a problem with this....It sounded like a great time and hopefully many more to come. Get a life people.
StarThrower50 February 11, 2014 at 01:33 PM
@Johnny: Hey! Be nice to fat women! I'm a fat, and maybe even boring woman and I would have LOVED being at this party!
StarThrower50 February 11, 2014 at 02:09 PM
Just realized you can't have paragraphs in these comments, so I'll have to leave them individually. TO: @JUDITH KENNY: Will you marry me? Oops, I forgot... women can't marry women! But WAIT, I forgot! Now they can! *LOL* Just trying to add some levity here, where it's DESPERATELY needed! But seriously, your comments were great and right on the money... you nailed it when you said "It is just the filth in your filthy minds that is inappropriate." and "Please take your filthy minds and lock them in a closet some where . People like you take a perectly innocent thing and turn it into filth, you truly are disgusting." I applaud you for taking your kids back there. I'm absolutely positive that the equipment was cleaner when the adults left than it was when the kids before them left. Kids are walking CESSPOOLS of germs and no matter how carefully the owner cleans it after a day with the sneezing/coughing/snotty-nosed/barfing/peeing/pooping set, some residue of germs WILL remain! And if you read this attendee's letter, you'll see that there were NO BODY FLUIDS on any of the equipment because there were no activities that would have left them!
StarThrower50 February 11, 2014 at 02:10 PM
TO: @STEVO: I think you're right that "Something tells me a bunch of you haven't gotten any in a while!" but I'm not sure it would do much to improve their mindset. Going to a party like this, even a totally non-sexual one, would have done worlds to improve their mood... they'd be smiling for a week if you could keep them away from the Old Testament Bible thumpers!
StarThrower50 February 11, 2014 at 02:11 PM
TO: @Bob "Next time these critics sleep in a motel/hotel they will be sleeping in all sorts of bodily fluids. Take a black light with you and you probably won't find a "safe" place to sleep in the room." OMG, what a GREAT idea for these germ-phobic parents that are terrified little Thurmond will come in contact with a single germ... *LOL* They'd have to disinfect the whole room before they could sleep! (And put the bedspreads out in the hall!) "Don't you just love it when prejudice rears it's ugly head?" About as much as I'd welcome a boil on my butt! And I'm so sick of it I could scream. I hate to bring up politics, and I won't be (too) specific, but that's really ALL you hear these days from the right(wing) aisle... from Faux News, who went to court to prove that they had the right to tell mistruths, to the pulpits of mega(million $$$) churches pounding their breathren to vote in so-called "Christian candidates" who are no such thing, they're simply bigots and haters in sheeps' Armani suits, and right down to the people spouting death threats to people who attend an adult party where nothing really "adult" went on! DEATH THREATS! I can't wrap my mind around that!
StarThrower50 February 11, 2014 at 02:12 PM
And finally, on that topic... @JIM COLETTO: If your presence at a party would subject you to death threats, would you use your real name? I don't blame her a bit for protecting herself and her family!
Michael Ruggiero February 11, 2014 at 03:18 PM
Not a good idea. Familiarity, especially in pajamas, breeds illicit relationships down the line. Find a better way of releasing the child within you....
Bill Povse February 11, 2014 at 05:44 PM
Michael Ruggiero, only some one with a dirty mind would think that this could cause illicit relationships.
Bill Povse February 11, 2014 at 05:48 PM
I can tell from some comments that some of you have no idea what this party was about. First of all even if it was a swingers party, it wasnt an on premise sex party. Most parties held in a public place are called Meet and Greets. It is where like minded couples go to meet other like minded couples. Then they leave the place and either get a room or return to some ones house. There is no sex while at the party. As for using the equipement, the adults were cleaner than the kids that use them. It's time some of you grew up and take your heads out of your butts. If you think that this is dirty or sexual then it is because that is the way you think.
Earl February 11, 2014 at 11:02 PM
Kids playground, adult party, do not mix, no way to justify it whatsoever.
Al Mahany February 15, 2014 at 04:29 PM
No doubt some of you think a party like this is immoral. That is your right. You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to cram your opinion down someone else's throat. If you don't approve of a party like this, don't go. It is out of your sight and out of your hearing unless you choose to attend. Don't go. How hard can that be? As for the alleged "contamination" the children have to face the next day, does your child take a bath in the same bathtub where you take your shower? Why is that bathtub not contaminated by you? You clean it of course. And the owners of the facility clean it too. Any other problems?


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