Letter to the Editor: The Pillow Fight Heard Around the World

Editor's note: The following letter to the editor was submitted by a woman who attended the controversial pajama party at Medford's Krazy Kidz last Saturday night. Patch has verified that she attended the party, but she asked that her name not be used "due to the fact that death threats have been issued to someone involved in with party already, for the safety and privacy of myself and my family I do not feel safe using my real name in relation to this issue."

This past Saturday night, I attended Krazy Kidz in Medford where they held a, now notorious, private party.  The Flyer read:  "Jungle Gym & Pajama Party All-Night Dance Party: For Grownups Who Won't GrowUp."

It was posted on Meetup.com and said to include pillow fights, crazy maze races, a Twister contest, body painters and performers as well as "warm-jello wrestling" and "things I probably shouldn't be putting in writing." It stated:

 "The purpose of the party is to play like a kid! ...to be happy and carefree. This is just good clean wholesome fun ... There will be no orgy, smut, strippers, or lewd content ... however ... there will be tasteful nudity."

Immediately, controversial candid shots posted to a social media site, along with the above-mentioned flyer culminated in a perfect storm that went viral. This is as much about the power of social media sites such as Facebook, to share messages, inform, and unite people around a cause — as well as the danger of making assumptions without having all the facts — as it is about public nudity, child-safety concerns or anything else. 

Unfortunately, the outrage of many who saw these images could have been harnessed to address the real problems our nation faces today — such as mass shootings, violent foreign policy and an abysmal economy where the middle-class finds it increasingly hard to make ends meet. Difficult financial times were in fact the reason behind Krazy Kidz seeking alternate revenue streams via private parties.

The party photos which reached the evening news on major network TV, featured women in shorts, pajamas, and pretty lingerie-inspired attire (and who were more covered-up than one would be at the beach) frolicking innocently on the jungle gym and on the dance floor.

For those who speculated on what kind of  "performances" there were, the performers were fully clothed hoola-hoopers, and aerial artists who gracefully soared through the air.

Since news of the pajama party got out, their Facebook page has been barraged with negative comments from irate parents who now fear that children who play in Krazy Kidz may come into contact with certain unsavory bodily fluids or be stuck with a syringe. 

Apparently the average suburban soccer mom (or little league dad) cannot comprehend the notion of non-sexualized nudity, or believe the fact that not everyone has the hang-ups they do about the human body in its natural state, and thus do not require drugs or heavy drinking in order to be nude or sporting "revealing" attire around a group of people. There was absolutely no drug use or smoking inside the venue during this night despite rumors to the contrary.

There were a few nudists who were hired as a "flash mob" for an artful impact, they stayed on the dance floor, did not use any of the equipment, and I did not even see any of them sitting down. 

Perhaps, this performance art piece was still in questionable taste featured in an establishment that caters to children during the day, but it certainly wasn't part of any sex act, or meant for the purposes of titillation.

I would like to address another statement on the flyer, which may lead people to assume that there was hard partying going on at the event. The flyer stated that the party ends at 3 a.m. and that people were welcome to stay until 5 a.m. to rest up before driving. 

The truth is that everyone left by 3 a.m. and therefore the staff had ample time to cleanup before they opened the next day at 11 a.m. The reason the flyer stated that people would not be asked to leave immediately was because it was a 21-and-over private party that was BYOB (bring your own beer), and there was some moderate drinking, by some, of beer, wine, or cocktails. 

I did not see anyone that looked to be at all intoxicated, but just to be on the safe side, it was a good idea to give people a little extra time to make sure they were ok to drive, should they need it, none of which was necessary.

Would it really matter if the woman seen in the shot was truly naked or just wearing an "Eve costume?" I assure you that there was no one on any of the equipment that wasn't fully dressed. 

This was not a sex party, a swingers party, a drug-fueled orgy, a bunch of pedophiles getting off on humping the bouncy house, or a Satanic Black Mass, or any of the other outlandish insinuations made by people with vivid, fevered imaginations. And to the dismay of some of the attendees, neither the Twister game or the hilariously evocative "warm-jello wrestling," mentioned on the overhyped flyer, ever took place.

The premise behind this innovative party was to facilitate a space for guests to be able to return to a place of innocence — but evidently there was no going back to the simplicity of childhood. The Garden of Eden has been destroyed. 

Nudity is now perceived as the opposite of innocence, and public nakedness threatens to subvert the social order. This scares people. Obviously, this struck a deep chord with Middle America's puritanical roots, and beliefs about the inherent sinfulness of the body.  

I went to this party to enjoy a carefree Saturday night in the company of a group of free-spirits, artists, and creative-types who wanted to find a safe haven, in which to convene, away from society's rigid boxes and judgmental gaze. Sadly, the exact opposite happened. 

Now, a hard-working, tax-paying citizen may lose his business due to misguided hysteria, not to mention the public shaming of all the attendees. Some even received death threats from a lynch mob who just want "...their kids to be safe." This was a night of pizza, pillow fights, facepainting, dancing, and hoola-hooping. You tell me who the dangerous ones are; maybe the most dangerous elements of our society are driving children around in minivans.

We live in a pornified society, in which people can't imagine someone paying $40 to go to a place like this without the promise of a night of debauchery to rival that of ancient Rome. The truth is seldom as juicy as the fantasy. 

I guess most people will never understand us, but I think this incident brought up a lot of interesting questions about what it means to be an adult, or a child, to be clean, or dirty, innocent, or abhorrent. Apparently one man's good, clean fun is another man's Sodom and Gomorrah.

I know you will choose to believe what you want, and I don't have false expectations of reaching any of you with my voice. History is full of the fury of the intolerant mob. But please remember that there are much more important things to rally against in this world besides pillow fights, and adults trying to have a bit of fun, while fostering a sense of community, in a world that can often be cold, cruel, hard, lonely and unforgiving, and in a life so bittersweet and fleeting.  

If this is the worst thing that you have to worry about — consider yourself blessed.